Madonna — more Top Ten hits than any other female artist ever; 160 million records sold worldwide; forty-seven Top Ten singles in the UK, including ten Number Ones; twice as many Number Ones as any other female artists. And this is her second 'greatest hits' album. Should be good, shouldn't it?

Greatest Hits Volume Two features hits from the nine years between 1992 and 2001 and takes up where Immaculate Collection left off. It features fifteen tracks from the last decade including some from recent albums, Ray of Light and Music.

The tracks are in a very, very loose chronological order — December 1992, October 1992, August 1995, October 1994, December 1993, December 1998, May 1999, March 1998, December 1994, May 1998, November 2000, April 2001, September 1998, August 2000 — as you can see, we begin in 1992, take a few steps up, then down again etc. and end up in 2000.

Deeper and Depper and Erotica feature from the star's Erotica long-player; both were Top Ten hits in 1992. Four tracks feature from her 1998 Ray of Light album — all Top Tens. The Number One comeback, Music, and its follow-up Don't Tell Me feature from the successful Music album.

Yes, there's an impressive list of high-charting tracks but as we know from all the indie bands that take four years to succeed: chart positions don't really matter.

But, hey, the music is good. It has defined, for some people, the nineties — a decade which we have now left behind forever. Some people will see this mediocre 'greatest hits' as a nice Christmas present for some of the family to remind them of the good old nineties. That is why it's being released so close to Christmas, remember that.